Building the Internal Sky

Anna Pigeon is a memorable fictional character because she carries a lifetime's experience in her strength and fears. At one point Anna reflects on her days of deep depression and how she struggled to break free:

She had tried meditating on love and courage, bright satin sashes and whiskers on kittens, but they seemed such tiny points of light in the ink of her internal sky.
Nevada Barr, Borderline, pg.39

Those of us who have known depression, know this "internal ink". To cancel such darkness, the tiny lights must be very strong--in luminosity or in numbers.

But a dark internal sky is not just a symptom of depression, we can create it from holding fast to what we believe is wrong in the world, or from our anger and hate, or from mentally living in the "bad times".

We counteract the "internal ink" by creating light--reminding ourselves of life's joys, remembering the good times, or living with the Eternal Spirit in our hearts. My favorite image for God's Spirit is a tongue of flame. Flaming light, meant to slide deep within us and banish the dark ink. But first, we must believe that the Light--the positive, the good, the blessings--exist. Then we must make an act of faith every day, perhaps several times a day and draw the flame inside, flooding our internal sky with Light.

Avoid building a dark internal sky with anger and bitterness and drama. Life has enough dark spaces; we don't need to add any.

May your internal sky glow with the Spirit's light.

Amen.

The Power of Three

The number three is pervasive through human culture and human religions.
There were three witches in "Macbeth" and the three blood relatives in the "Charmed" TV series who pooled their energies to create powerful spells.

We coordinate our efforts "on the count of three…"

Bad things, it's said in some families, comes in threes. But then again, third time’s a charm.

Three notes make a triad, considered the fundamental chord structure in music.

Three strikes and you’re out. Hockey is played in three periods. Three is Dale Earnhardt’s number.

There were Three Blind Mice, Three Musketeers, Three Little Pigs, Goldilocks and the Three Bears. You get three wishes from the genie.

The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit are the center of Christian Trinitarian dogma. The New Zealand Prayer Book describes the Trinity as Eternal Spirit, Great Weaver, and Mother Wisdom. And the concepts of a Creator, a Redeemer and a Bringer of Change are found throughout human religious thought. Wiccans comtemplate the phases of life through the Maiden, the Mother, and the Crone.

I went looking for a Unitarian Universalist "trinity' and found one in a bumper sticker:

Unitarian Universalism, A Different Trinity: Respect, Freedom, and Justice

And the UU Fellowship of Athens, OH, offers this triad as their brief mission statement:

Sustainable Living, Inclusive Community, and Religious Freedom

Finally, in a UU Christian publication, this part of a prayer:

Make my hands just. Make my feet firm. Make my body a temple fit for your service.

Three has such powerful spiritual connotations that needlecrafters use a repetition of three to transform their craft into a spiritual discipline.
o Some use a pattern comprised of three stitches (3 knit, 3 purl; the crochet V-stitch)
o Others choose three words, three phrases, three verses from the Psalms and chant silently or aloud as they create.

You can make any repetitive activity or the work of your hands a meditative practice by using the Power of Three. Washing dishes by hand, digging in the garden, sanding a piece of wood, shoveling snow, vacuuming. Choose a triad and repeat it aloud or silently.

The important part of what you choose for the triad prayer is that the words or phrases should resonate with you and the task you're doing. There should be an emotional tug to the triad so that you will come back to it if your attention wanders too far.

Some possible triads:
Faith, Hope, Love
May you be healthy. May you be happy. May you be comforted. (when creating gifts for others)
Respect, Freedom, Justice
God in my head, God in my heart, God in my hands

Do you use the Power of Three in your prayer? Please share your triad meditations and prayers. We'd all love to hear new ways to connect with the Spirit and Heart of God.

Lessons from a Mystery Writer

I'm slowly reading through a book by best-selling author Nevada Barr entitled "Seeking Enlightenment Hat by Hat: A Skeptic's Path to Religion". If you don't know her writing, Ms. Barr created the character Anna Pigeon for a series of contemporary mysteries, each one set in a different US National Park. The fact that the author is a former park ranger just gives the whole series that extra ring of authenticity.

"Seeking Enlightenment" is a joy.

The religion she ultimately travels to is the Episcopal Church, but this book has UU Christian written all over it. The book includes over 40 essays, each a few pages in length about a specific topic: Fear, Children of God, Sex, Humility, Stillness.

Stillness is a continuing source of challenge for me; that's why I write so much about it. Nevada Barr reminds us that the yak and yammer of our lives give us the sense that we are so-o-o important and there may be a myriad of connections we sustain, but there is no relationship. To truly relate, she says, there must first be stillness. It takes two to build a relationship and if we do not take the quiet time to know ourselves and our needs, we will never be able to relate to anyone else, especially God. Here come the buts, our arguments for not slowing down--but I have to..., but I'm expected to..., but if I don't...

In essence, when I say those things, I am saying: "I am too important to stop. I am too important to take the time for this 'knowing God' nonsense". I am giving into the belief that all I have to offer is the running of errands, commenting on the lives around me. I am not offering myself, merely my time and attention.
Page 62

Time and attention are all well and good, but they're surface giving, not relating and connecting; responding to the roles we all play, not to the essence of another person.

Nevada suggests to remind yourself "a hundred times a day" to turn down the static, take a breath and return to your own skin.

Without the stillness, we can't filter out life's jangling noise. Without emptying silence, we have no room to fill up with meaningful communication.

Be still.

Patience Is a Virtue

Yesterday, I had cleared my calendar to work on some pressing tasks for my business. Since I work from home, taking care of business sometimes slides until it becomes pressing. At any rate, one of those items was to get some quick advice on an e-mail formatting issue that has been annoying both me and my clients. A promised 15-minute fix turned into 90 minutes as a cascade of underlying issues was uncovered, followed by two more, separate 20-minute phone conversations with technical specialists. As of today the issue is still not resolved. But I do have my computer functioning close to where I started yesterday morning.

By the end of that first 90 minutes yesterday, I was completely infuriated and could barely think straight. There were other--and more to the point, money-making--matters that needed my attention. And I was stuck watching someone else poke around in my computer. Frustrating, irritating. My heart was racing. Brain fog was setting in.

Through the fog, one word dropped into my brain.

PATIENCE!

I was searching desperately for what Job seemed to have in spades (even if he did shake his fist a bit), but I was not finding it. I grabbed my Bible concordance and searched for references to patience.

One that caught my eye was Ecclesiastes 7:8--

Better is the end of a thing than its beginning [oh, yeah, I'm all for the end of this thing];
the patient in spirit are better than the proud in spirit.

"Proud." I can admit to a bit of pride, thinking that I have perfect control over what happens in my day. NOT!

Most of chapters 8 and 9 in Ecclesiastes comprise an ode to the balances in life. Righteousness balancing wickedness, wisdom balancing foolishness. Patience versus a restlessness to be done...right...now! Reading a bit of the prophet helped to calm me down.

The idea of those grand plans I had also brought to mind one of my favorite of the Proverbs:

The human mind may devise many plans;
but it is the purpose of the Lord that will be established. (19:21)

I finally found my patience by going to the Curves gym and burning off the frustration with a round of weights and aerobics and then joining a team who are planning a 6-week class this winter on knitting and crocheting as spiritual practices. By the time I got home, I was ready to listen to God's plans--and face more technical conversations.

May you have patience as deep as the ocean--or at least access to a Bible and a good workout!

May it be so.

Questions for the New Year

During this busy month of holidays and transition to a new year, an idea kept rising around me that the QUESTIONS in our lives have the power to steer our direction and influence our choices.

My winter meditation began on Christmas Day using a series of questions for The 12 Days of Solstice offered by the Rev. Mary Grigolia and based on insights from Carl Jung. Questions like: Who am I? What is my treasure? What is home for me? and How do I honor creativity? These questions have guided me to take stock of my choices this past year from different angles. The final question is: What are my intentions for the next cycle of growth? which puts no boundaries on the timetable for that next "cycle" and suggests only that I form intentions which will be my framework for the coming growth period.

In my training as a reference librarian, I was told that when a patron poses a reference question at the reference desk, I must ask at least 3 questions of the patron. Otherwise I will not understand what the patron really wants. And I have found this to be true. Every time.

More recently, after years as a medical and pharmaceutical librarian in large academic and corporate libraries, I found that I was no longer interested in the issues, in the questions that librarians in those environments face every day. That led me to consulting. Now I'm finding the same recognition. The questions I answer today, the issues I try to solve today are of less interest to me than when I started my consulting business. Now I'm seeking the questions that I do want to answer. What issues do I want to tackle for the next few years? What message will I be able to communicate through the questions I feel compelled to answer?

My husband and I exchange presents on Christmas Day, usually buying for each other something that we both want. This year was no different. I bought a new book for us by Dr. Jan Garavaglia (Dr. G, Medical Examiner on the Discovery Health cable channel) entitled "How Not To Die". In it Dr. G talks about how she chose forensic pathology for her life's work. She says that it is in forensics that she discovered the questions that most interested her--the ones that she wanted to answer, felt compelled to answer.

For his present, George bought Susan Boyle's new CD for us. One of the songs is "Who I Was Born To Be". The chorus is:

And though I may not know the answers,
I can finally say I'm free
And if the questions led me here, then
I am who I was born to be.

So in the light of the Blue Moon,(by modern folklore, the second full moon which rose in December), whose light crosses the New Year's boundary with casual disregard, I give you the idea of questions.

Which questions interest you? Which questions do you enjoy exploring and answering? Do you need to choose new questions? Which questions will lead you to be who were born to be?

Happy New Year!