Choices

It seems that in November, I was regularly confronted with the idea of choices. Two weeks ago I heard a sermon by Rev. Robin Renteria in which she asked:
How many choices take you away from what you really care about? How many take you toward what you really care about, what you value? How many choices are merely distractions. Or avoidance? Or denial?

I gave a seminar on issues in aging to our Pastoral Associates at church and spent another day at an eldercare resources fair sponsored by a local organization. At both, I spoke to people about maintaining independence as we age. One of the characteristics of independence is that we can make our own choices. As we grow into our elder years, we have choices about how we will live, who will help us if we become infirm, and what setting will give us the best lifestyle and care options. But I learned that choices are a slippery thing. If you choose no course of action, something may happen (a fall, a disease, a condition) that will close down options quickly and make the decision for you. The choices we make affect not just us, but also others around us. As much as we cry for independence of choice, choice is a very dependent action.

I’m in the process of choosing now. In what activities shall I engage for the next 10 years? What will be my daily life rhythm in the near future? What does my current behavior tell me about what I value, and do I want to make any changes? My choices will set a path, close out some options, open up others. Choice makes life easier and more difficult at the same time.

My counselor often said that making the first, major decision is the hardest part. To stay in a marriage or not. To sell a house or not. To move to assisted living or not. Once you have made that choice, the path becomes somewhat easier because the options you have become clearer. The path after the major decision has an immediate direction that can move you forward. Without that first decision, you are stuck, immobile.

The Bible not only shows us that God makes many choices, but also gives us advice on our own choices. So in your choices today, choose any of these verses for inspiration.

Proverbs 8:10
Choose my [Wisdom’s] instruction instead of silver, and knowledge rather than choice gold;

Proverbs 16:16
How much better to get wisdom than gold;
To choose understanding rather than silver.

Joshua 24:15
“...Now if you are unwilling to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served in the region beyond the River or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

Luke 10:41-42 Visiting Mary and Martha
But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”

Deuteronomy 30:19-20 (This is just the end. Read the lead-up from 29:2 through Chapter 30. Powerful stuff!)
I call heaven and earth to witness against you today that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Choose life so that you and your descendents may live, loving the Lord your God, obeying him and holding fast to him; for that means life to you...

Blessings on your choices!

Advent Devotional

If you are searching for a daily meditation through which to mark the days of Advent, try Light of the World: A Daily Advent Devotional. by Jennifer R. Sandberg. It's being made available through the UUCF website. Each meditation includes a Bible verse, a reflection and a prayer--just enough to get those spiritual juices flowing.

Wishing you a reflective Advent!

Gratitude as Motivator

Somewhere in my reading and listening, I came across the assertion that the Unitarian Universalist experience often leads to an awareness of how SMALL each of us is in the world and of our total dependence on the Web of Existence. This feeling of smallness can lead to many reactions: fear, wonder, anxiety, uncertainty, awe. In UU's, a common reaction is gratitude. Gratitude to the Mystery of Life, to a Higher Power, to God for making our lives and experiences possible.

Progressive Christianity tends to emphasize this gratitude as a motivator. Christians give back to the world, live in kindness, serve justice in gratitude for the blessing of life.

Some Christians work from a center of fear. There will be retribution in this life or the next if one does not perform good works, live a life of service. Other Christians look forward to Salvation in the afterlife. If one does all the right things, one will be rewarded with eternal Bliss.

All three motivators--Fear, Salvation and Gratitude--can result in the same outcome. I think that's important to remember.

But I like the concept of immediate payback. I get blessings from Life. In gratitude, I say "Thanks" to Life right away by supporting Life and encouraging Life to bloom. I also like being grounded here and now. Being fully present in the miracle that is Life. There is less drama with Gratitude as motivator, but Life hands out enough drama of its own. I don't need to create more.

How's your motivation today?

An Empty Bowl

There is a story Sue Bender relates in her book “Everyday Sacred” of a monk who, each morning, takes his empty begging bowl in his hands and stands in the flow of crowds in the city. Whatever is put in the bowl that day—money, rice, a bit of fruit—he uses for his nourishment. Each morning he begins again with an empty bowl, and each day he finds that he receives enough to live.

Each morning we are blessed with a new day. A new beginning. Whatever we did the day before, whatever decisions we made, are done. Finished. Can not be taken back.

But each new day provides the opportunity to do something new. To change the direction that we might have chosen yesterday. To act differently, to look at a problem with a new perspective, to seek advice. To begin again.

What a gift!

Do you berate yourself continually for past decisions? Do you miss the present because you’re focused on the past? Can you not look at today with fresh eyes because of the past? Do you sit in judgment on yourself? If so, remind yourself of the empty bowl and the possibilities.

Move on. Move forward. Look back only to seek clues for how to move ahead today.

Nothing is set in stone.

For each morning, you have an empty bowl.

Your Own Empty Bowl
Find a bowl in your house—any bowl. Something that reflects how you feel about yourself. If you love to bake, perhaps a mixing bowl; if you cherish fine china, a piece from your favorite pattern. A plastic cereal bowl. Place the bowl where you can see it when you wake up each morning and remind yourself that yesterday is past. You have an empty bowl into which to gather new gifts, new decisions, new challenges, new woes, new joys.

May it be so. Amen.

Friendship

I just got back from a week visiting my sister-of-the-heart in Alabama. I've heard several writers and speakers talk about the different types of friends we have in our lives. In one of these descriptions, we can have "Friends for a Reason, Friends for a Season, and Friends for Life." I've know this friend for over 25 years, and we are definitely friends for life. We bonded during two years shared in Kansas and when our families separated, we promised each other that we would visit at least once every year. During this year's visit, we compiled a "Visit Journal", recording the dates, locations and memories of all our visits. We discovered that we had missed only one calendar year, but there were many years when we were able to arrange more than one visit.

I have as many reasons as there are stars to feel blessed by this friendship.

So today, I share a few verses from Proverbs because nobody says it better.

A friend loves at all times, and kinsfolk are born to share adversity. (17:17)

Some friends play at friendship, but a true friend sticks closer than one's nearest kin. (18:24)

One who forgives an affront fosters friendship, but one who dwells on disuputes will alienate a friend. (17:9)

Well meant are the wounds a friend inflicts, but profuse are the kisses of an enemy. (27:6)

And I close with that powerful verse from John (and for this, I love King James):

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.(15:13)

If you have a friend like this, give thanks this day. If you do not, give thanks for the friends for a reason or a season that you do have and keep your heart open for that friend for life.

May it be so. Amen.